Misadventures of Mul Opesayo

There are many many things in Korea that one does not experience in Florida. Last week, I discovered another one.

Here, it gets cold enough for pipes to freeze.

Last Saturday was freakishly cold. I, of course, was inappropriately dressed. The next morning, I was talking with a Korean friend online and he told me that he'd been up since early early because his pipes froze. I joked that if mine had done the same, he would have to come defrost mine, too. Thirty minutes later, I turn on my sink to brush my teeth.....and guess what doesn't come out.

Fast forward through the crying and the completely helpless internet searches (yes, I know how to unfreeze a pipe - the problem is, I can't find where the heck it is actually frozen), until I finally get an answer: "We can send a repair man to your home, but not until tomorrow. Today is Sunday and he is Taking a Rest."

Oh.

So Monday comes. At 9:30 sharp, a repair man comes to my door. I'm not entirely sure what he says, but I know it involves yelling at me for being a stupid American and letting this happen (I caught the anger and the word "Miguk"). He turns my hairdryer on a part of the pipe that I had touched earlier and found to be HOT for a bit, realizes it's not working after about 10 mins, and leaves.

I cry more.

That day at work, I talk to Paul who shows me where exactly the pipe is frozen. Ohhhhhhhhhhh (I guess despite the poor aim with the hairdryer, the repair man did have a clue). That night, Paul sets me up with a heater pointed at the frozen pipe. I'm instructed to check it every few hours. It was a long night.

Tuesday morning comes. Still no water. However, the calvary does arrive. In addition to yesterday's repairman and Paul, I get a new repairman. This one has a fancy machine. I end up staying home until right before I have to leave for Chungdahm. Still no water. I am tired, and cranky, and my Giga kids are crazy because they're on vacation (PS: Korean kids always seem to be on vacation).

During one of the breaks (I've lost track of time by now), Paul comes in to tell me that I have water again (which he begins with, "Bad news" - I may or may not have crumpled to the floor).

Also, I got home Tuesday night to find that the repairmen smoked in my apartment while I wasn't there. I was not amused.

The moral: If your pipes freeze in Korea, IGNORE ALL COMPLETELY UNHELPFUL INTERNET SITES. Call your whitey wrangler/school/whatever.

FAQ:
How did you shower/brush your teeth/etc?
I bought a lot of water. My stove still worked. I learned that I can take an effective shower using only 2 liters of water.

Could you flush your toilet?
I didn't try that one. Let's just say that I tried to hold it until I got to school a whole lot.

So....what happened? Why did it take so long?
Either I am just *really good* at freezing pipes, or my neighbor did the same thing... They had to wait until he got home to go into his place and unfreeze it from there, too. He said that he would be home at 1:00, which of course meant that he was home by 4:30..

Public..........things!!!

I've gotten over the whole no dryers thing, and I think I may manage to survive another x years without Chick-fil-A, but I've decided that there are two things that are quite lacking in South Korea.

1. Trash Cans
I've mentioned this before, but after last weekend, I believe it deserves a revival. The reason why people leave their trash EVERYWHERE in Korea is that there is no place to throw away anything!! Or, if there is, then that space is occupied by like 10 receptacles with specific purposes, which I'm sure are clearly outlined on the signs that are too faded for me to read. I carried around a Starbucks cup for an hour last weekend because I couldn't find a place to throw it away (conscience was too guilty to just leave it on the train).

I am wondering if the lack of trash cans is just the government's way of creating jobs for the elderly. All around my complex, there's a giant team of ajumas whose job it is to straighten up the trash area. Koreans are quite picky about recycling, and anything that isn't supposed to be thrown away is usually just thrown in front of the (what in the world would you call those things?) From everything I've gathered, this is the proper procedure. However, if you live in Suji, please reply and explain to me the difference between the purplish-red and the purplish-blue but-otherwise-identical trash centers. I know one is trash that can be burned and the other.....isn't...but I don't get the difference.. .

2. Public Restrooms
Before we begin - I'm not entirely sure I want my grandmother to read this. Well. Maybe it's more that I don't want my grandmother knowing how much I think about bathroom behavior.. .

Okay, yes, I know they exist. But I always happen to be in that one part of Seoul when I REALLY HAVE TO go potty (terminology is backlash from having a pediatric nurse for a mother - the phrase stuck =p). I've mapped out the public restrooms in the places I visit regularly...with the exception of the Gangnam subway station - that sucker just keeps teleporting on me. I've come to terms with squat toilets, and even with the one-giant-roll-of-tissue-outside-of-the-stalls-for-everyone-to-share. I even got past the whole no-soap thing (hello anti-bacterial cream).

That said, if I rubbed the magic bathroom lap (don't even try to make a metaphor out of that one) and the genie only granted me one wish, it would not be an increase in quantity. Oh no. It would be to redesign the entire country's men's room floor plan. Specifically, the location of the urinals in proximity to the doors. Other foreigners in Korea know what I'm talking about: there is no privacy wall or convenient corner to hide these babies behind. No. If you walk by a men's room (which usually is required when walking out of a lady's), you are face-to-face with a row of urinals. Being that it is obviously located in Korea, my school is designed the same way. I'm frightened out of my mind that I'm going to walk out of the bathroom one day while one of my male students is taking care of business.

Sidenote: According to a sign in the Suji Shinsegae restrooms, there is such a thing as the Korean Toilet Association.