Foreign Ideas

Next week, I'll be heading back to America for the first time in over three years. This has brought up a lot of discussion (mostly beginning with, "YOU HAVEN'T BEEN BACK IN THREE YEARS??????" (um, no, I'm a hagwon teacher)). On a recent Sunday night dinner with a friend in Myeongdong, we started talking about all the things I'll see in America that I haven't seen since I left (or the few times I've been near a base). Some, I'm looking forward to. Others make me glad I'll only be home for two weeks..

1. "Excuse me"
The joke among expats here is that there is no Korean word for "excuse me" (there is, it's just seldom used). It's the norm here to just shove past people. Somewhat related, it's also extremely common for someone to shove into a space you're occupying without waiting for you to vacate it (like a seat on the bus....I don't get it). After three years, I'm still not sure what to do when I need to get past someone who is taking up the entire pathway while they've stopped to finish their text.

2. The Sunday Couple Shuffle / Couple Red-Rover
I walk fast. I have places to be. However, Sunday seems to be the day that all couples have to go out and drag their feet. The slower they walk, the slower the day will go - duh*! I'd understand this, but they also like to latch on to each other and take up the entire sidewalk with their snail pace. Related: if they're walking toward you on a narrow path, don't expect them to detach. If you're in the mood for a game, keep your trajectory - see if they'll actually separate, or if you'll just walk right into their fused-together hands.
*Note: Students on their way home walk at a similar pace.

3. TRASH CANS
This is possibly the number one thing I'm looking forward to about being home. I've read a few blogs in which they've discussed this: what do Koreans do with their trash? Well, I know the answer: they pile it on any sort of raised platform. Or just throw it to the side of the sidewalk. I also understand why Korea is so trash can weary: very easy place to hide a bomb (we are just a few miles away from our enemies in the north). But it will be nice to have an appropriate place to put my Starbucks cup when I'm finished.

4. No "Servicee"
This is one I'll miss :( It's common Korean practice to thank your customers for choosing your place of business by giving them a free gift. Cosmetic stores give you free samples of their products (usually whitening cream and moisturizer). Restaurants give you a sample of their featured entree. Bars will give you shots. In marketplaces, it's common practice to ask for "service" when you've made a purchase.

5. Tipping
Selfishly, this is another one I'll miss. People here are paid minimum wage, and it is not common custom to pay anything extra for any kind of service. I've almost forgotten how it works - 20% is the rule of thumb, right? I've given a few tips - the most notable being an extremely large one to a taxi driver who gave me a free German lesson one Christmas. I'm torn on how I feel about the practice: on one hand, I like the idea that people who are better at their job get paid more; on the other, I know customers are people, and are selfish bastards, and don't exactly follow this ideology.

6. Spaghetti-Strap Tank Tops
This is a weird one. My first few months here, I was VERY AWARE of how Koreans don't wear anything that shows cleavage. They're becoming more liberal about shoulders: I've seen tank tops (usually with wider straps), but nothing that dips low. They will, however, bring those hemlines as high as they can without showing the goods. I'll try not to stare.

7. Customization
Around Christmas, my favorite Starbucks beverage is a peppermint white mocha. When I tried ordering that here, I was told that the peppermint mocha was a special drink and couldn't be changed. I also come across strange looks when I ask for an extra shot of espresso in a drink. At restaurants, if you try to alter the menu just a bit, it becomes way too complex for your server. Example: a friend and I once wanted to order a lunch set* that came with soda - we wanted to change the soda for milkshakes (understanding that we would be charged more). The server insisted that he would be unable to process that in the computer, nor would he allow us to order the items individually. There's a similar attitude behind ingredient substitution in restaurants (no, you cannot have salad with that! You have to have fries!). I get why: this is a culture where you accept things as the way they are. But it will be nice to be able to ask for no tomatoes, or only half the amount of syrup in a latte.
*I've kind of forgotten this isn't an "American" word. Set=combo

8. Overstimulation of WHAT EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT
Foreign languages are easy to tune out. However, when you live here, and hear English, your ears immediately go up and you immediately start to eaves drop. Foreigners?? What are they talking about??? A friend has described being in America after a long stint overseas as like being in the Buffy episode where she gets the ability to read minds: she is completely overwhelmed with all of the voices in her head.

9. Driving
Possibly just because I live in the city here, and in the country at home, but I will totally miss Korea's awesome public transportation. Yes, being on the bus is sometimes being like in the passenger seat of a NASCAR race, but it sure beats having to get yourself there. Here, I spend about $40 a week on transportation - at home, it was hundreds (could be up to thousands if you consider car payments and maintenance). Busses go everywhere - and, if you don't understand how they work, the subway works just fine. Trains are still a thing here - the KTX will get you to Busan faster than a car.

10. Non-Neutral Cars
This is a small one, but as right now I'm sitting at a cafe next to a window, it comes to mind. A good 90% of cars (this is not an exact figure =p) are white, gray/silver, and black. Weeks can go by before I see a red car. Months for colors like yellow and blue. A few years ago, Daewoo made a cute little lime green hatchback, but those have mostly disappeared from the roadway. This is a culture that likes to blend in - national identity is much more important than individual identity - and it's reflected in almost all outward appearances.