I'm too excited to build up to this: I went to the Coatel and back all by myself!!! People who are confused by this excitement should know that I am *terrible* about finding my way around - and I've been especially self conscious since being in Korea. It took me a bit to find the subway station near Suji - I got to the building okay, but had a hard time locating the entrance. Still not sure I could do it again without having to look around first; however, the station map itself is really easy to follow. I'm especially grateful that the signs indicate not only the station name, but which station is next (and which one the train is coming from).
I'm so glad I struck out on my own - I had so much fun with Anna, Christi, and the rest of the small percentage of that GINORMO training group! I've decided that it should be a rite of passage for training groups to go to Dr. Fish - yes, that means I even found *that* (shocking, I know - I had help from Anna :)). It's a great bonding experience, plus it's so much fun. Didn't eat a fish this time =p But I did experience the "other pond" - I like that the fish are bigger, but they didn't attack my heels the way the smaller ones did. If I had to go back, I think I'd return to the pool with the smaller fish since they seem to be able to read my mind and tell where I most want them to attack.
We also went back to that bibimbap cafe - after eating in Suji for a month, I've decided that place is expensive! We can get good bibimbap here for like 4000 KRW, whereas my mushroom bulgogi bibimbap was 8500 at the place in Seoul. So glad I wasn't placed there - everything is so much more expensive.
This week flew for me, but I can imagine that it crawled for everyone at the Coatel. So glad that Anna and Christi made it through :). I'm not sure if training really is that stressful, or if we build it up too much in our minds. If it's the latter, then do we do that to ourselves, or is it something we've inherited from those who have already been through training? Did I make Anna and Christi's week harder because I went on about how awful training was? I also noticed that males and females attack training differently. We get all stressed out and blow things up (see above ;)), whereas guys take it in stride - or, if they do stress, they stress much more hardcore than we do. I just remember the males at our training acting like it was no big deal, and not even seeming to prep. The guys we have here were confused as to how people didn't sleep that week. Maybe they are right - maybe training isn't that big of a deal (well, not that you shouldn't blow it off, but that you shouldn't make too big of a deal of it all).
The whole "If I knew then what I knew now" concept is quite dizzying. As stated in previous entries, this is a *really* easy teaching job. This semester will be especially awesome for me - I have mostly English Chip and Bridge (odd because I was told upon hiring that I'd be teaching more higher level classes). I'm excited about my Alba+ class because the topics seem to be more open for discussion than what was presented in Alba (sidenote: can anyone explain to me how "Albatross" fits in with the golf terms?).
Friday, February 26, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Being a Hagwon Teacher - First Impressions
Where has this job been all my life? Seriously - at AOE, I constantly felt like I spent so much time chasing after students for makeup work or calling parents because the kids weren't doing their work to actually grade their homework and assess their skills in a timely manner. Likewise, I was too busy rewriting IEP goals and scheduling progress meetings to actually make the accommodations for the students in my class. In short, planning was getting in the way of teaching. Here, that's all I'm responsible for: to teach. It's kind of nice.
I remember before I came, I read all of the online reviews of CDI and saw lots of negatives. People complained about the teaching hours, of the rules, and how mindless the structure is. I've decided that these people never had a teaching job in America. The structure is the same everyday, but it seriously beats staring at a class and realizing the lesson you planned will not work and you have five seconds to pull something out of your ass before the kids figure out you have no clue what you're doing. The rules are nothing uncommon compared to what was required of teachers in America - one person I think complained about having to cover her tattoo......ummm....yeah.... When you're part of one of the most respected professions, it is kind of expected that you at least act like an adult. The hours do kind of suck, but they are probably the least surprising aspect of it all. If you show up in this country as a hagwon teacher and aren't aware that you'll be working evenings...well...just go back to America - if you seriously were unaware, you don't have enough common sense to be here anyway.
I do have to say that I feel more like a daycare counselor than a teacher, though. Because hagwons are businesses, the idea is to attract and keep students. You can have as awesome as a curriculum as you want - if you can't keep the kids, you aren't surviving. This was something that bothered me about AOE - we made a lot of degrading decisions (such as accepting makeup work 3 months later) for the sake of keeping our numbers - but somehow, I kind of understand the concept with CDI. Probably because I have yet to be asked to do something that compromises my teaching morals. I'm getting off subject. The comment about the daycamp counselor comes from the delivery. We are teaching, we do have a curriculum with goals, but the way we're supposed to teach it is to sell it - is to keep the kids almost entertained. I think I'm wary because this isn't hard work at all. AOE was - AOE kicked my ass and completely turned me into a monster. When I go back to America, I'll list CDI on my resume as teaching experience, with all the BS verbal jargon, and when asked, I will talk about how it's one of the highest rated private academies in South Korea, but I'll know. I don't feel like AOE was real teaching experience either because it was a whole lot of babysitting and absolutely no follow through with expectations. Maybe there is no such thing as real teaching experience - or maybe AOE and CDI have been more than I am giving them credit for.
Teaching here definitely kills a lot of Asian stereotypes, too. These kids are just as lazy and prone to mischief as American students. The only difference is that they back down sooner (well, most). The girls are in no way as boy crazy as my middle schoolers in America, which makes teaching *really* nice. It's funny - they don't even talk to each other. The boys are just like American boys, though - they either are your favorite or your least favorite students. I told one of my classes that they would have no problem fitting into an American classroom.
Some stereotypes are true - like the math thing. It's not because they're Asian, though - it's simply because they don't repeat the same math curriculum for grades 1-5 and then start learning new things in 6 like we do in America. Some of the kids are bad at math, though - I asked one of my students to answer 50 thousand plus 50 thousand and he just looked at me blankly (he did, however, know 50 plus 50). The politeness thing I think is more true because they don't really understand, and therefore don't use, sarcasm. A few of my kids get it, but those are ones who have lived in America for a number of years. When teaching sarcastic tone in reading class, I really had to exaggerate the author's words to get them to see it. Most students are polite, but there are definitely a few who are downright rude. One in particular comes to mind - and if you're one of my coworkers in Suji (and still reading this =p), you know exactly who I'm talking about. However, teaching my American misfits for so long has made me kind of like the rude ones, so I'm not gaining any gray hairs over this kid.
I've heard getting into high school compared to college entrance in America, but I don't think that's an accurate comparison. These students put a lot of stress on which high school they attend, whereas I think there's a pretty big "It doesn't matter" attitude with college...maybe the Ivy League schools. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that more kids in Korea care about their high school than kids in America do about college.
Pause: I think Coffee Bake bought a new CD. Fantastic :)
Next week will be the last week of the term. I've fallen in love with one of my afternoon classes and will be so sad when they transfer to evenings. Evening students are so blah, whereas the afternoon students are so enthusiastic. I've said a few times that I want to continue to teach them, but I think the transformation will break my heart.
I remember before I came, I read all of the online reviews of CDI and saw lots of negatives. People complained about the teaching hours, of the rules, and how mindless the structure is. I've decided that these people never had a teaching job in America. The structure is the same everyday, but it seriously beats staring at a class and realizing the lesson you planned will not work and you have five seconds to pull something out of your ass before the kids figure out you have no clue what you're doing. The rules are nothing uncommon compared to what was required of teachers in America - one person I think complained about having to cover her tattoo......ummm....yeah.... When you're part of one of the most respected professions, it is kind of expected that you at least act like an adult. The hours do kind of suck, but they are probably the least surprising aspect of it all. If you show up in this country as a hagwon teacher and aren't aware that you'll be working evenings...well...just go back to America - if you seriously were unaware, you don't have enough common sense to be here anyway.
I do have to say that I feel more like a daycare counselor than a teacher, though. Because hagwons are businesses, the idea is to attract and keep students. You can have as awesome as a curriculum as you want - if you can't keep the kids, you aren't surviving. This was something that bothered me about AOE - we made a lot of degrading decisions (such as accepting makeup work 3 months later) for the sake of keeping our numbers - but somehow, I kind of understand the concept with CDI. Probably because I have yet to be asked to do something that compromises my teaching morals. I'm getting off subject. The comment about the daycamp counselor comes from the delivery. We are teaching, we do have a curriculum with goals, but the way we're supposed to teach it is to sell it - is to keep the kids almost entertained. I think I'm wary because this isn't hard work at all. AOE was - AOE kicked my ass and completely turned me into a monster. When I go back to America, I'll list CDI on my resume as teaching experience, with all the BS verbal jargon, and when asked, I will talk about how it's one of the highest rated private academies in South Korea, but I'll know. I don't feel like AOE was real teaching experience either because it was a whole lot of babysitting and absolutely no follow through with expectations. Maybe there is no such thing as real teaching experience - or maybe AOE and CDI have been more than I am giving them credit for.
Teaching here definitely kills a lot of Asian stereotypes, too. These kids are just as lazy and prone to mischief as American students. The only difference is that they back down sooner (well, most). The girls are in no way as boy crazy as my middle schoolers in America, which makes teaching *really* nice. It's funny - they don't even talk to each other. The boys are just like American boys, though - they either are your favorite or your least favorite students. I told one of my classes that they would have no problem fitting into an American classroom.
Some stereotypes are true - like the math thing. It's not because they're Asian, though - it's simply because they don't repeat the same math curriculum for grades 1-5 and then start learning new things in 6 like we do in America. Some of the kids are bad at math, though - I asked one of my students to answer 50 thousand plus 50 thousand and he just looked at me blankly (he did, however, know 50 plus 50). The politeness thing I think is more true because they don't really understand, and therefore don't use, sarcasm. A few of my kids get it, but those are ones who have lived in America for a number of years. When teaching sarcastic tone in reading class, I really had to exaggerate the author's words to get them to see it. Most students are polite, but there are definitely a few who are downright rude. One in particular comes to mind - and if you're one of my coworkers in Suji (and still reading this =p), you know exactly who I'm talking about. However, teaching my American misfits for so long has made me kind of like the rude ones, so I'm not gaining any gray hairs over this kid.
I've heard getting into high school compared to college entrance in America, but I don't think that's an accurate comparison. These students put a lot of stress on which high school they attend, whereas I think there's a pretty big "It doesn't matter" attitude with college...maybe the Ivy League schools. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that more kids in Korea care about their high school than kids in America do about college.
Pause: I think Coffee Bake bought a new CD. Fantastic :)
Next week will be the last week of the term. I've fallen in love with one of my afternoon classes and will be so sad when they transfer to evenings. Evening students are so blah, whereas the afternoon students are so enthusiastic. I've said a few times that I want to continue to teach them, but I think the transformation will break my heart.
Monday, February 15, 2010
New Definition of "Alone in a Crowded Room"
It's kind of surreal living somewhere and not speaking the language. I don't know exactly what I expected, but it's not completely awful. The worst part about not having my Alien Registration Card yet is the inability to communicate with _anyone_. I pretty much have to take complicated plans with people as there is no way I can get any sort of message about where or when to meet. It's also frustrating with people back home - I'm getting quite a demand to call friends and family members, and I don't think they realize that me getting online is either a few minutes because I got to school early, and am on that virus-packed computer, or it's because I managed to find an unstable internet connection at a local coffee shop. I feel guilty that I cannot stay in touch - especially during this first month - but there's really _nothing_ I can do. Korean law states that I have to have proof of residency to start something like an internet account, and I'm still waiting on that. Oh government processing time.
I think about the version of myself in America. I was so addicted to my cell phone and the internet. Here, not being connected is resulting in spending a lot of time alone, something I promised myself that I wouldn't do. I don't mind it so far - it's kind of a weird, adventurous thing, but I'm wondering when it will all seep in and I'll start getting lonely. I wish I was brave enough to walk up to Americans here and say, "Hi, I'm new in town and have no friends. What are you doing after work?" I'm still not sure if foreigners are allowed to band that kind of stranger connection (this is reminding me of Dr. Wilson's Sci Fi class - the whole thing about The Other), or if we're supposed to be trying to blend in. I see lots of foreigners together in this town - or walking around alone with a sense of confidence like they either don't need people, or are on their way to meet the scads of friends they already have (and don't need anymore, thank you), and it reminds me that I only know seven other people in this town. Maybe in Suji we're only supposed to hang with people from our own hagwon. If I weren't totally frightened out of my mind of getting lost, I'd attempt to seek out my training buddies, who I think are probably more in this whole, "I'm trying to meet people and be social" newness in Korea.
There are so many couples in this coffee shop. Every girl in Korea has a boyfriend. Ugh - that is something I definitely don't envy..
Holy god, if my parents are reading this, please be advised that I am not as miserable as I actually seem - that my coworkers are freaking wonderful and are doing a great job teaching me how to get around. Today, when we left Suji to go to a late lunch, Thanh and Dan pointed out the subway stops and bus numbers that get me back to Suji. A few days ago, Lisa gave me a subway map in English. I'm just sad because in two weeks, three of my coworkers, who make up the majority of our dinner plans, are leaving and I feel that means I should be officially over my New Girl phase and know how to do things like get around outside of Suji and order food for myself. It will actually be good that we're getting three new people as they'll be like me in wanting to get out and explore, as opposed to already having all that wandering worked out of their systems.
I feel like I need to be like Samantha in that last episode of Sex and the City - where she wipes her eyes and says, "Okay ladies, let's [perk up]. I'd like to show my face here again."
I'm labeling this post "pre-departure" for a reason: If I could go back and change anything, it would be learning hangul. Even if you don't know the actual spoken language, knowing how to read is insanely helpful when navigating the subway/buses, or trying to order in restaurants.
In happier news, I updated the photos in my Mobile Me gallery..
I think about the version of myself in America. I was so addicted to my cell phone and the internet. Here, not being connected is resulting in spending a lot of time alone, something I promised myself that I wouldn't do. I don't mind it so far - it's kind of a weird, adventurous thing, but I'm wondering when it will all seep in and I'll start getting lonely. I wish I was brave enough to walk up to Americans here and say, "Hi, I'm new in town and have no friends. What are you doing after work?" I'm still not sure if foreigners are allowed to band that kind of stranger connection (this is reminding me of Dr. Wilson's Sci Fi class - the whole thing about The Other), or if we're supposed to be trying to blend in. I see lots of foreigners together in this town - or walking around alone with a sense of confidence like they either don't need people, or are on their way to meet the scads of friends they already have (and don't need anymore, thank you), and it reminds me that I only know seven other people in this town. Maybe in Suji we're only supposed to hang with people from our own hagwon. If I weren't totally frightened out of my mind of getting lost, I'd attempt to seek out my training buddies, who I think are probably more in this whole, "I'm trying to meet people and be social" newness in Korea.
There are so many couples in this coffee shop. Every girl in Korea has a boyfriend. Ugh - that is something I definitely don't envy..
Holy god, if my parents are reading this, please be advised that I am not as miserable as I actually seem - that my coworkers are freaking wonderful and are doing a great job teaching me how to get around. Today, when we left Suji to go to a late lunch, Thanh and Dan pointed out the subway stops and bus numbers that get me back to Suji. A few days ago, Lisa gave me a subway map in English. I'm just sad because in two weeks, three of my coworkers, who make up the majority of our dinner plans, are leaving and I feel that means I should be officially over my New Girl phase and know how to do things like get around outside of Suji and order food for myself. It will actually be good that we're getting three new people as they'll be like me in wanting to get out and explore, as opposed to already having all that wandering worked out of their systems.
I feel like I need to be like Samantha in that last episode of Sex and the City - where she wipes her eyes and says, "Okay ladies, let's [perk up]. I'd like to show my face here again."
I'm labeling this post "pre-departure" for a reason: If I could go back and change anything, it would be learning hangul. Even if you don't know the actual spoken language, knowing how to read is insanely helpful when navigating the subway/buses, or trying to order in restaurants.
In happier news, I updated the photos in my Mobile Me gallery..
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Welcome to Suji - A Brief Look at the First Two Weeks..
Not having internet makes updating this a pain. It took longer than I expected to move into my new place, which happened finally on Wednesday, and I've been too busy learning CDI structure and setting up my crib to ask the school about helping me to set up my own internet account. I'm kind of using February as my irresponsibility month, which I think is perfectly acceptable and I will freely pass on the torch of not-having-to-do-anything-but-live-in-Korea to the newcomers next month.
As I spend a good portion of my teaching encouraging students to identify a topic and main idea, I feel the need to include that here: My first two weeks in Suji have been a wonderful, and relieving, adventure full of good food, fantastic friends, and fun students. Be sure to underline the topic, main idea, major supporting details, and the minor details within each paragraph - also don't forget to circle transitions!
Each night, a good chunk of the staff (and with an 8-person staff, it's still a pretty small chunk) go out to dinner together, and this month will bring the departure of two of the key players of our nightly dinner rituals. These are the guys who've introduced me to such foods as chicken galbi (totally unsure of that spelling), pork bone soup (not my favorite at all, but worth the ehhhhh for that place's _fantastic_ kimchi!), bulgogi dobap, bibimbap in the stone bowl, the Korean version of fried chicken (which is quite similar to the American version), dopoki, and donkasu (again, totally not sure of the spelling of the last two...but I think the fact that I remembered them (!!!!!) should be celebrated as my coworkers have been incredibly patient with having to always reexplain what I'm eating!). Eating out here is so cheap - I think my most expensive Korean meal has been the equivalent of $5. Well, let me be a bit more specific: Korean food is cheap; American food is insanely expensive. Coffee shops are a good 20% more expensive than in America, and American restaurants are insane! Lisa - my HI - and I went to On the Border on a Mexican food craving, and things were about twice as much as they were at the OtB's in the States - plus they tack on this foreign tax..
Although, Suji is kind of the shaft when it comes to apartments, I totally lucked out with coworkers. They're all freaking awesome and, the best part, like to do things together (though, apparently this is new). Friday night, most of us gathered at Jen's and post-dinner snacked. It was a nice contrast to the staff breakroom. Somehow, I became the expert on how to prepare whipped cream (yeah, those of you who know me see the irony in this ;)), but it turned out, so I think I'll continue to let everyone assume that I know what I'm talking about when it comes to preparing milk products. Aaron brought these fantastic cookies and I'm refusing to ask him what they're called lest I purchase a giant package everyday.
Last weekend, two coworkers rescued me from purgatory in Suji and took me to Seoul. Saturday, Lisa and I had a girl's day at COEX mall as I decided that I really needed a handbag (do not ask why I didn't pack mine - I'm still confused as to what I was thinking when I was packing my suitcase). We searched all over the mall and eventually found one when we stopped at E-Mart on the way home. The day wasn't a total loss, though - there were lots of cute guys AND we found an On the Border. Expensive as all get out, but we found reasonable combo meals. I miss Mexican food soooooo much. On the subway back to Suji, we randomly got into a car that also contained one of my training buddies! It was so weird - out of all the subways in Seoul... Sunday, I was much more traditional with my Korean experience - Ben took me to a few street shopping districts near the Women's University in Seoul. I took pictures, which I promise to upload!! (Yes, I know I haven't been good on that promise..) That was the day I officially discovered street food, much to my mother's chagrin. When I am more confident in my Korean, I want to go back and look through the stalls for gloves and scarves.
To fund these shopping habits (including a very bad Lotte Mart hat addiction), I get to spend 6 hours a day with students who were *nothing* like I expected. I'm going to go ahead and break down stereotypes: Korean students are just as lazy as American kids, and many misbehave just as much, too. However, unlike Americans, they haven't really discovered the opposite gender...actually, the female students are usually my favorites (it was so opposite in America). They are the ones who usually find the right answer and participate the most. I often make reference to my "Birdie girls" - two classes of elementary students in what CDI labels the "Birdie" level (the easiest way to put this is to say that they are in the middle of the highest tier). They are the ones who have fun with the class and like to talk to me over break. One of my Birdie classes has decided that it's their job to teach me Korean so that I can read restaurant menus - they taught me the spelling for "bibimbap" and next week will teach me "bulgogi dobap". The middle school boys are one of two personalities: either they don't talk _at all_ or they do everything they can to cause mischief. One boy reminds me so much of the type of student I'd find in America that I sometimes forget that he is Korean. The elementary boys are more fun - they like to shout out answers and play hangman.
It freaking snowed last weekend and now I have to put forth a lot of effort at thinking about not falling. I tempted fate the other day when I slid (on purpose) across the basketball court that I cross on the way home from my apartment, as afterward I slid on accident and almost fell (and possibly would've brought Lisa down with me - I told her that if I fall, she's falling, too).
Must prep. Am an idiot and forgot to print out the teacher guide - I never use it except for the answer key to the exercises. I'm such a bad English major - I don't even know the correct answers to exercises made for middle schoolers!!
As I spend a good portion of my teaching encouraging students to identify a topic and main idea, I feel the need to include that here: My first two weeks in Suji have been a wonderful, and relieving, adventure full of good food, fantastic friends, and fun students. Be sure to underline the topic, main idea, major supporting details, and the minor details within each paragraph - also don't forget to circle transitions!
Each night, a good chunk of the staff (and with an 8-person staff, it's still a pretty small chunk) go out to dinner together, and this month will bring the departure of two of the key players of our nightly dinner rituals. These are the guys who've introduced me to such foods as chicken galbi (totally unsure of that spelling), pork bone soup (not my favorite at all, but worth the ehhhhh for that place's _fantastic_ kimchi!), bulgogi dobap, bibimbap in the stone bowl, the Korean version of fried chicken (which is quite similar to the American version), dopoki, and donkasu (again, totally not sure of the spelling of the last two...but I think the fact that I remembered them (!!!!!) should be celebrated as my coworkers have been incredibly patient with having to always reexplain what I'm eating!). Eating out here is so cheap - I think my most expensive Korean meal has been the equivalent of $5. Well, let me be a bit more specific: Korean food is cheap; American food is insanely expensive. Coffee shops are a good 20% more expensive than in America, and American restaurants are insane! Lisa - my HI - and I went to On the Border on a Mexican food craving, and things were about twice as much as they were at the OtB's in the States - plus they tack on this foreign tax..
Although, Suji is kind of the shaft when it comes to apartments, I totally lucked out with coworkers. They're all freaking awesome and, the best part, like to do things together (though, apparently this is new). Friday night, most of us gathered at Jen's and post-dinner snacked. It was a nice contrast to the staff breakroom. Somehow, I became the expert on how to prepare whipped cream (yeah, those of you who know me see the irony in this ;)), but it turned out, so I think I'll continue to let everyone assume that I know what I'm talking about when it comes to preparing milk products. Aaron brought these fantastic cookies and I'm refusing to ask him what they're called lest I purchase a giant package everyday.
Last weekend, two coworkers rescued me from purgatory in Suji and took me to Seoul. Saturday, Lisa and I had a girl's day at COEX mall as I decided that I really needed a handbag (do not ask why I didn't pack mine - I'm still confused as to what I was thinking when I was packing my suitcase). We searched all over the mall and eventually found one when we stopped at E-Mart on the way home. The day wasn't a total loss, though - there were lots of cute guys AND we found an On the Border. Expensive as all get out, but we found reasonable combo meals. I miss Mexican food soooooo much. On the subway back to Suji, we randomly got into a car that also contained one of my training buddies! It was so weird - out of all the subways in Seoul... Sunday, I was much more traditional with my Korean experience - Ben took me to a few street shopping districts near the Women's University in Seoul. I took pictures, which I promise to upload!! (Yes, I know I haven't been good on that promise..) That was the day I officially discovered street food, much to my mother's chagrin. When I am more confident in my Korean, I want to go back and look through the stalls for gloves and scarves.
To fund these shopping habits (including a very bad Lotte Mart hat addiction), I get to spend 6 hours a day with students who were *nothing* like I expected. I'm going to go ahead and break down stereotypes: Korean students are just as lazy as American kids, and many misbehave just as much, too. However, unlike Americans, they haven't really discovered the opposite gender...actually, the female students are usually my favorites (it was so opposite in America). They are the ones who usually find the right answer and participate the most. I often make reference to my "Birdie girls" - two classes of elementary students in what CDI labels the "Birdie" level (the easiest way to put this is to say that they are in the middle of the highest tier). They are the ones who have fun with the class and like to talk to me over break. One of my Birdie classes has decided that it's their job to teach me Korean so that I can read restaurant menus - they taught me the spelling for "bibimbap" and next week will teach me "bulgogi dobap". The middle school boys are one of two personalities: either they don't talk _at all_ or they do everything they can to cause mischief. One boy reminds me so much of the type of student I'd find in America that I sometimes forget that he is Korean. The elementary boys are more fun - they like to shout out answers and play hangman.
It freaking snowed last weekend and now I have to put forth a lot of effort at thinking about not falling. I tempted fate the other day when I slid (on purpose) across the basketball court that I cross on the way home from my apartment, as afterward I slid on accident and almost fell (and possibly would've brought Lisa down with me - I told her that if I fall, she's falling, too).
Must prep. Am an idiot and forgot to print out the teacher guide - I never use it except for the answer key to the exercises. I'm such a bad English major - I don't even know the correct answers to exercises made for middle schoolers!!
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